Sometimes when you finish a book you realize the scope of the work makes for an impossible summary. I think on some level this narrative is something most can connect with in some way. But, don't let this comment water down the depth and uniqueness of the author's life.
The book mostly centers around Jano, an elvin character created by the author. Jano's development is described as a, “rediscovery”. From the reading I'd even go so far as to say Jano provided a “rebirth”. Jano counters the suffering going on in real life. That suffering is a depressed state in which the author, years ago, compromised herself and learned to go through the motions of daily life as an emotionless robot in an effort to cope. Living like this is the choice many take, especially when there seems to be no alternative. I'd argue when there seems to be no alternative, there isn't one. But when life lacks vibrancy and energy, and there is nowhere in which to belong, eventually one becomes a cold, breathless statue.
So Jano really is more than escape from reality. She offers a reason for life because she offers a place to breathe. Limited at first, Jano is able to slowly venture out in ways the author is not. Perhaps the most hope-filled, romantic moment comes when a real person (through the distance of cyberspace) enters. He opens a door to passion and life she had forgotten existed.
Incidentally, the poetry that is scattered throughout is among the best I've read. One line in particular, after reading the entire context, held such meaning to me:
“....that I can only give empathy where once a passion burned.”
This autobiographical book is shamelessly intimate, and filled me with intrigue all the way through. Because many parts of it made me feel like I was glancing at my own reflection of years past, I am a better person for reading it.
Click on the book above to be taken to the Amazon Page.